A Canine Spa Located in Navarre, Ohio
Just for Fun!
Jokes that only Dog Lovers and Groomers would understand
New k9 Disease Discovered
Urgent Notice: Potential Danger of Dog Hair.
In a recent press release, the National Institute of Health announced the discovery of a potentially dangerous substance in the hair of dogs. This substance, called "amobacter caninii" has been linked with the following symptoms:
Reluctance to cook, clean or do housework, a reluctance to wear make-up, good clothes or high heels.
Reluctance to spend money on home or car repairs until after the dog has new collars, leashes, beds, treats, food, blankets or toys.
"Amobacter caninii" usually results in long hours away from home and exhaustion which may lead to a loss of physical contact with other humans (especially husbands and boyfriends.)
"Amobacter caninii" is thought to be addictive, driving the need for additional sources - this may lead to a “pack mentality" or like the potato chip commercial, "you can't have just one."
Beware! If you come in contact with a human infected by this substance, be prepared to talk about dogs for hours.
Surgeon General's Warning: Dogs are expensive, addictive, and may impair the ability to use common sense.
Now we know what we're affected with, why would we want to cure it?
How to Wash a Toilet and Groom a Cat
Helpful Hints from the Dog
1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.
4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'power-wash' and rinse.'
6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.
8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.
Top 22 Reasons Why It Costs More To Get Your Pet Groomed
Than Your Own Haircut
22 - Your hairdresser doesn't have to de-mat the dreadlocks in your unbrushed hair.
21 - It doesn't take 3 people to trim your nails.
20 - Your hairdresser does not remove fleas or ticks from all over your body.
19 - You don't kick your hairdresser's equipment onto the floor while bouncing gleefully in her chair.
19 - Your hairdresser doesn't empty your anal glands
17 - You don't try to hump your hairdresser
16 - You don't wiggle, spin or try to jump out of the hairdresser' s chair.
15 - Your hairdresser doesn't wash and clean the poo off your rear end.
14 - Your hairdresser does not treat your skin and hair conditions with medicated specialty shampoos.
13 - You don't go for 4 weeks or longer without washing or brushing your hair.
12 - Your hair dresser doesn't give you a sanitary bikini trim.
11 - Your hairdresser doesn't have to clean your ears.
10 - Your hairdresser doesn't remove the hair between your toes.
9 - Your hairdresser does not wash and dry your entire body.
8 - Your hairdresser doesn't have to remove the boogies from your eyes.
7 - You sit still for your hairdresser.
6 - You don't jump all over your hairdresser while kissing her and barking during your haircut.
5 - Your haircut doesn't include a complete manicure and pedicure.
4 - Your hairdresser only washes and cuts the hair on your head.
3 -You don't roll in manure and play with skunks before visiting your hairdresser.
2 - You don't bite or scratch your hairdresser.
1 - The likelihood of you pooping and peeing all over your hairdresser is pretty slim!
Dog Lovers are a Special Breed
They usually have crates in their living rooms.
Some may keep a messy house, but their kennels are spotless.
And they have kids who know more about the birds and the bees when they are five than most people know at 40.
Dog lovers will drive 400 miles, spend $100 on gas, $200 on a motel room and $150 on meals to bring home a 25 cent AKC ribbon.
Dog lovers drive trucks, vans, and motorhomes just so they can fit crates inside.
And they can never be reached on weekends, unless you happen to be at the same dog show.
They have trouble getting to work on time but can be at a dog show ringside 100 miles away by 8:00 a.m.
Dog lovers will give up a $150,000 home in the suburbs to move to a shack on 10 acres so they can have a $150,00 dog kennel.
Dog lovers have children who grow up believing "Bitch" is just another household word
Dog lovers have lush green yards and never buy fertilizer.
Dog lovers use dog food bags for trash and trash cans for dog food.
Dog lovers talk on the phone for hours to another dog person in a foreign language known only to dog people.
Dog lovers have parents who think they've lost their minds, neighbors who think they're strange, and doggy friends who think they're TERRIFIC!!
